The Life of Saint Lucullus the Lesser from a Baszue manuscript of uncertain date; the original Erse and Latin versions are lost.  Fragments of a variant version in old Armenian exist.

The Patron of the Shire of Appledore was born in the west of the Isle of Erin.  His baptismal name of Chard, son of Epinard, be changed when he took Minor Orders, to the the latinized Lucullus.  A corpulent man, exceedingly myopic, he spent seven years as a hermit on a small unihabited islet, living on a diet of herbs, fruits and beans.

After this period of isolation, the hermit emerged, ambitious to do some great missionary feat. Taking as his model and inspiration, Saint Patric of blessed memory, he resolved to strive to duplicate that Worthy's feats.  Patric had driven the snakes out of Ireland.  Lucullus, being of a literal and logical mind, concluded that since Patric came to Ireland from the east, he must have driven them westwards.  With the intent of going in that direction, expelling the snakes yet further and evangelizing the heathens, Lucullus shipped with Saint Branden on his voyage across the Ocean Sea.  Landed on the Western Contintent, he slowly journey westwards, searching for serpents so that he could impement his plan.  Owing to his nearsightedness, he failed to notice rattlers, coral snakes, water moccasins, copper heads, bull and garter snakes, not to mention the variety which walks on two legs.  But finally, Lucullus descended into the valley wherein the Shire of Appledore has latterly been formed, and here he found a serpent large enough that even he could see it:  the aquatic monster of Lake Okanagan.

The natives of the area were in great awe of the lake monster, and were in the habit of feeding it maidens occasionally in the hope of dissuading it from dining on them indiscriminately.  Lucullus was horrified at this and decided that his first step in evangelizing the heathens must be to expel the serpent or else convert it to his own chosen diet of herbs and beans.  The lake monster, after listening to the remonstrances of Lucullus for some time, lost patience and refuted these areguments in his own way by eating the saint, skin and bones and hymn book too.  But miraculously, that was the last man the monster ate.  Some say it was that the saint's diet of herbs had made him so bitter in taste that the serpent swore off meat in disgust; some that the oversized meal give it massive indigestion.  But whatever the reason, since then, it's diet has been strictly vegetable; primarily lakeweed, although it has a partiality for apples.  It is rumoured that it cannot resist an occassional nibble at a particulary nubile maiden swimming in the lake, but otherwise, its behaviour has been exemplary.

As for Lucullus, his martyrdom, his effect on the monster and the fact that he died in the odor of sanctity - which only the ill-natured ascribe to his beans - led to the speedy recognition of his sainthood in the Irish, Basque and Armenian calendars.  He has been adopted as the patron saint of the Shire of Appledore, and the lake serpent likewise as the Shire patroy monster.